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Squared Love Netflix Film Review

★ Stars

Directed by: #FilipZylber

A woman sits in a striped shirt and a pink cardigan, holding up a magazine with her left hand. She holds it so that it only covers half of her face — the half of the woman of the cover’s face ,arches up with her own. On the cover as well as a man dressed in a black and white traditional suit, standing in the right bottom corner of the magazine cover.

“A celebrity journalist and renowned womaniser starts to rethink his life choices after he falls for a mysterious model who leads a double life.”

Squared Love is a Polish romantic comedy that was released on Netflix earlier this month. The release was planned for Valentine’s Day obviously, but if a viewer was to decide to press play hoping for a lighthearted and enjoyable Valentine’s film… I’m afraid disappointment would become apparent quite quickly.

Although Squared Love is categorised as a romantic comedy, somehow the film’s content doesn’t actually fit in with either of these labels. The romance aspect is not kindly present as the characters lack a sense of self and motive within the storyline. The story is confusing in its entirely anyway, and the connections that are made between characters seem forced because of the absence of substance in regards to true heart and personality.

What is supposed to be comedic aspects are unfortunately just, straight to the point, not funny. I found myself only painfully laughing at the fact that the entire film feels more like a glorified car company advertisement — the inclusions of such car admiring dialogue were so out of place throughout its duration, I may have been laughing due to confusion as well.

The acting wasn’t strong enough to hold my attention, however I don’t want to pin that entirely on the cast’s individual abilities. With very little context and character identity to work with it must have been difficult to maintain a convincing persona onscreen. Especially for Mateusz Banasiuk’s character, Enzo, the ‘womaniser.’ Enzo is given absolutely no development as a character and usually when a character presents an attitude like his then finds himself truly falling in love, the film concludes with an uplifting change in his perspective on relationships. Nothing like this happens though, it’s really frustrating to watch unfold actually, which leads to a disappointing ending; more disappointing than the rest of the film. How can a film have one half of a romantic comedy duo be so generally unlikeable?

I always aim to have a suitable balance between praise and criticism when reviewing films, but I find myself having to make an exception for Squared Love. The only piece of praise I can give to the film is the stunning location choices. Filmed in the beautiful Polish capital, Warsaw, the city brings a much needed sense of life and colour into the background of scenes where these elements cannot be seen. The natural setting here is the production’s saving grace.

As a fan of Polish cinema, I can assure you that there are much better films for you to discover here. Maybe instead of watching Squared Love and wasting nearly two hours of your downtime, try watching Kogel-mogel (1988) in its place. It’s a well-loved Polish film that has almost everything that Squared Love lacks. Enjoy!


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