Written by: Chris Olson, Rachel Pullen, Brian Penn, Chris Buick and Ian Lunny
First and foremost, this is a safe space. You are with friends. You can remain calm.
Ignore all that noise out there (Twitter), they can’t get you here…or can they? No, they can’t. Completely different websites.
A selection of the UK Film Review writers have gathered in a dark alley and exchanged 100 film opinions it is totally okay to have, and that is what you will find scribed here.
Why the secrecy? Because should they take credit for them publicly they will likely face pitchfork-wielding mobs. This is where UK Film Review steps in. Come at us general public, we’re not afraid of your boos and lobbed popcorn (see number 30).
1. It's perfectly acceptable to have seen just the first Harry Potter film. A bit like a chocolate eclair, it's lovely but one's enough.
2. Is Emerald Fennell really a great writer-director, genius is a sobriquet not so easily earned?
3. You don't have to be a great actor to make great films. Yes, I'm talking about you, Keanu Reeves.
4. Characters on a killing spree gets a bit boring when you count to 52 and we're only half an hour in.
5. Undernourished storylines in overrated movies: The Shape of Water - mute girl falls in love with a fish, it needs some work.
6. Batman is the only superhero that really matters. He drives a great car, has got a bat cave and his own butler - game over.
7. It's ok to love musicals. Everything about 'Mama Mia' tells me I should hate it, but damn I enjoyed it.
8. Message to Martin Scorsese - you can stop making gangster movies now (ever thought about making a film where nobody dies?).
9. Does Quentin Tarantino make one great film every 25 years - Pulp Fiction (1994) and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. (2019)? Looking forward to 2044, it better be good.
10. Nomadland - winner of the Oscar for best picture in 2021 - really??....a late entry in the 'Undernourished storylines in overrated movies' category = woman lives in a camper van and sometimes works for Amazon.
11. Steven Spielberg has no style.
12. We don't need any more Marvel movies.
13. The world would be a better place without the Harry Potter franchise.
14. Romcoms create unrealistic expectations of both genders.
15. Jared Leto was a good version of the Joker character, it’s just the movie sucked.
16. Even if you can’t stand it, you still had a Twilight phase but just hated it.
17. Putting sun flares in all your movies does not mean you’re stylish J.J. Abrams.
18. Kubrick's version of The Shining sucked...the television version was so much better.
19. The lack of PTSD from Sidney Prescott in the Scream movies is frustrating, no one is that strong!
20. The Phantom Menace is the best of the Star Wars films...and Jar Jar Binks is an icon.
21. It’s totally fine to prefer Dreamworks films over Pixar, or even Studio Ghibli at that rate. How To Train Your Dragon is one of the best animated films.
22. Watching films on your phone does not make you a bad person. You can’t take a widescreen on your commute, we get it.
23. Downloading films illegally makes you a bad person - people worked hard man, let them get their payday.
24. Early Adam Sandler films are comedic gems, yes, even The Waterboy and Little Nicky.
25. Leaving a mess behind you in a cinema should be punishable by death…or at least community service.
26. Even if Harry did put his name in the Goblet of Fire, Dumbledore had no right to shout at him like that. It wasn’t even in the books!
27. Sometimes watching The Lord of the Rings can be a bit boring. Especially the extended versions - which are the only ones you should watch, even bored.
28. Vin Diesel ruins the Fast & Furious films.
29. No Batman villain will ever be as scary as Danny DeVito’s Penguin.
30. Popcorn is literally the worst choice as the go-to snack to eat in a cinema. The best, of course, is EAT BEFORE YOU GO!
31. About Time is Richard Curtis’ best film, without a shadow of a doubt.
32. Avatar is one of the most overrated and underwhelming films ever and we don't need the sequels, nor do I think anyone really wants them except James Cameron.
33. Star Wars is also massively overrated, and the latest films are awful, even worse than the prequels.
34. Batman Begins is the best of the Dark Knight Trilogy, not The Dark Knight.
35. Never understood the hype with Drive - found it boring, to be honest (good soundtrack though!).
36. 2001: A Space Odyssey - technically brilliant but also really quite boring.
37. Boyhood was also boring and unfortunately the children didn't grow up to be able to act.
38. The Mission Impossible films are better than Bond films.
39. The John Wick films are better than the Matrix films.
40. I actually quite enjoyed the first Venom film.
41. Never be afraid to call the first Rocky film 'Rocky I', it's perfectly sensible as there was a 'Rocky II'. And don't worry about friends who hyperventilate whenever you mention it.
42. The 'Star Wars' franchise is utterly baffling. It was easy to navigate the trilogy, but sequels that become prequels renumbered as episodes 1-3 is beyond reasonable logic?
43. There should be support groups for people who've never seen Lord of the Rings. Yes, it's brilliant but don't weaken; you might be redundant in some conversations but ignorance can be bliss.
44. There are some people who think Coming to America is one of Eddie Murphy's best films. Try not to laugh (at them, not the film).
45. Many are guilty of overacting at some point in their careers, but could anyone match Jim Carrey's performance in Liar, Liar?
46. Is not time to introduce a 'Best Female' director in the Oscars/BAFTAs. Actor categories are split in the same way?
47. Isn't it about time somebody set up a strong Western movie franchise, they were once a staple part of the film industry?
48. When is Gurinder Chadha going to make a truly great movie (Bend it Like Beckham doesn't quite cut it)?
49. Is Rami Malek now hopelessly typecast after 'Bohemian Rhapsody'...Freddie Mercury isn't a convincing Bond baddie even with the scars?
50. Are streaming packages taking over our lives? I've got my eye on you, Walt Disney, you might have me free for six months but after that we're finished...and I mean it (??).
51. Both are good, but Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is better than the first one.
52. Again, both are good, but Zombieland Double Tap is also better than the first one (sequels can be better!).
53. Casino Royale is the best Daniel Craig Bond film, not Skyfall.
54. People need to stop comparing Alien and Aliens, they're completely different films.
55. Independence Day was one of the best movies of the 90s. Period.
56. South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut was and is still a brilliantly clever comedy film and one of the best musicals of all time.
57. Deep Blue Sea is a really good movie. Most films where a shark is involved are good.
58. All the Scream movies are really good. They should end the series with Sidney being the killer.
59. All the Final Destination movies are also good.
60. Passengers would have been a better film if you started with the second half first.
61. Can Anthony Hopkins and Ian McKellen please decide who the 'new Laurence Olivier' is and just let us know?
62. The unluckiest Oscar nominee in history: Tom Cruise - Born on the 4th July (1990) but lost out to Daniel Day-Lewis for My Left Foot (I feel your pain Tom).
63. Oh how I miss John Candy, a sublimely talented comedy actor: watch and learn Will Ferrell.
64. People in cinemas who lose the ability to count (and follow the alphabet) when looking for their seats are infuriating. Maybe that's what the trailers are really for?
65. What exactly is the point of an honorary Oscar/BAFTA Fellowship? (translation: You're old, been around a while and have done ok, suppose we should give you something).
66. People in cinemas who defiantly leave their mobiles switched on; aren't the persuasive tones of Jon Boyega enough?
67. Rare sightings: actors who display genuine humility in their Oscar acceptance speech (Olivia Colman for The Favourite in 2019...god bless you, Madam!)
68. Why do actors insist on producing, directing and starring in their own movies; aren't they stretching their talents too thinly? (don't mean you Clint obviously).
69. What happened to the 'candy floss' films that sold exclusively on the strength of the soundtrack? (Top Gun, Days of Thunder, Footloose, Dirty Dancing, Ghost'..in fact half the films made in the 80s).
70. The lack of genuine cockney actors on the big screen, particularly with the apparent retirement of Michael Caine. Jason Statham doesn't quite fit the bill.
71. It's okay to not join the hype train. If it's a director (Christopher Nolan for me), a film or an actor/actress you don’t need to love them because everyone else does.
72. Bad films are secretly the best films. Yes, this sounds like an oxymoron but some films that are so bad, so completely devoid of what we film fans enjoy that they have their own comedic merit. Seek out Neil Breens (Fateful Findings), Tommy Wiseau (The Room) and of course Cats.
73. Mixed popcorn is the elite.
74. Spiderman 3 is not that bad full stop.
75. IMDB top 100 films is a bullsh*t list. Not the films themselves but the overhyping of certain movies and ignorance of world cinema.
76. Animated films are criminally underrated. We all know the Pixar films and the Studio Ghibli animated features, however, the world of animated films is vast and different cultures have fantastic animated cinema which just gets lost. So go find Persepolis, I Lost My Body, Waltz with Bashir and so many more
77. The animated Lord of The Rings is pure 70s gold.
78. Romcoms should be taken seriously.
79. The Spice Girls Movie is a surrealist masterpiece and I will fight anyone about it.
80. The Oscars is one of the most overhyped things ever.
81. Arthur Christmas is the best Christmas film. It gets better with every watch and is ridiculously funny.
82. Hot Fuzz is the best of the Cornetto Trilogy.
83. This Is Spinal Tap should be compulsory viewing for any aspiring rock band.
84. We need to get rid of films split into Part 1 and Part 2. Just make a longer film and save us the wait.
85. Any trailer which shows scenes after the first third of a film should be banished and their makers with them.
86. We need more comedy films with Brendan Fraser as the lead.
87. Nemo was a punk who deserved to get lost.
88. If you get your phone out during a cinema screening the audience deserves the right to attempt to steal it from you - and sell it back to you after the film's finished if you have been a good boy or girl.
89. Aisle seats are for winners.
90. Into The Spider-Verse is the best Spidey film.
91. Glengarry Glen Ross has some of the finest acting ever put on screen. But it's also a bit of a sausage fest.
92. Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom is a ridiculous mess and one of the worst sequels.
93. Spaceballs is greater than Star Wars.
94. Meryl Streep is the Meryl Streep of her generation...and everyone else's. But it's okay not to love her.
95. The Fox and the Hound is way more upsetting than Marley & Me.
96. The Hobbit films should be remade without using any CGI. And definitely no GoPro footage.
97. School of Rock should be watched at least once a year, to remind us all to stay in touch with our inner selves. And to see Joan Cusack attempt to keep up with Jack Black.
98. Eraserhead is not worth enduring, hugely overrated, and could result in you giving up your love of film entirely.
99. Sometimes it's too tiring to watch foreign-language films.
100. Films longer than 90 minutes are already dead to me.
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