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The Wicker Man film review

★★★★

Directed by: Neil LaBute

Written by: Neil LaBute, Anthony Shaffer

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Kate Behan, Leelee Sobieski and Ellen Burstyn

Throwback Film Review by: Rachel Pullen

 

The Wicker Man (2006) Film Review


The Wicker Man (2006) Film Review
The Wicker Man (2006) Film Review

I have been dreaming a lot since last week since I digested the amazing Vampire's Kiss, my dreams are littered with Mr Cage, screaming, smashing, being like the hulk but more...thin, anyway I need more of him, and what do I do when I want to roll around in the complete insanity that is his work? I watched the 2006 remake of The Wicker Man.


The Wicker Man is the tale of a cop (Cage) who is contacted by his ex-wife saying that their daughter has gone missing, so he is like ''Oh I'm a cop...better find her'', but she lives on a small remote island, which is, let’s just say it upfront...a cult.


Mr Cage arrives, gets all uppity about the cult and the women who run the town, he is mad that as a man and a cop no one is helping him or respecting him, and soon starts suspecting something fishy is going on.


Before long he is digging deep into the history of the town, with no help from the women I might add, they are probably knitting or weaving or doing something else women do in cults and starts to suspect they are going to sacrifice his daughter as they have had a failed honey crop. So in true police fashion, he dons a bear costume and punches a bunch of women out of his way.


But oh no, what's that on the horizon? A big wicker man...stupid Mr Cage, he was so busy being mad at the women for being women that he didn't realise it was he who is to be sacrificed in order to get more honey...classic women island times.


This movie was panned, seriously hated, it does no justice as a remake of the original film from the 70s, its storyline is loosely based on the original, but it overlooks the importance of the study into organised religion that the first one brings to the table, and that upset people, the idea of Catholicism vs paganism is thrown out the window and replaced with men vs women, and of course that change made people feel it was unwatchable. But to me, The Wicker Man remake is on its own platform, a standalone film, and if you view it with that in mind you can appreciate it on a different level.


This film is littered with stuff that makes no sense, things addressed, then overlooked. A script that is gold, and I mean gold, it’s quote-tastic, plot holes, terrible acting (but not from Mr Cage) and a lot of bees, so why should I watch it you ask?


The Wicker Man is one of those films that is so bad it's good, and if you watch it as a comedy rather than a serious thriller, you’re gonna fall in love, and on a serious note the cinematography and colours of this film are stunning, the idea that it’s dripping in honey did not pass me by and to that I say...sweet.


I watch this film a lot, I wanna watch him in a bear costume, punching women, screaming about bees and things getting burnt, I want it all, women with the power, cops in wicker, I can’t get enough, and if you take away one thing from our time together it’s that you open up wide and swallow the sweet honey dripping remake of The Wicker Man...I'm gonna say it, f*ck the first one, this one is so much better.

So this week we must ask: what have we learned?

  • Bees are in charge of us all

  • Wicker men will rid us of police state oppression

  • And if you are to punch a woman, do it in a bear costume.




 

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