Suseteer: The Movie

Watching Suseteer: The Movie is a bizarre experience. Like a relic from the depths of early YouTube, the film is 100 bewildering minutes of characters discussing witchcraft, super-heroics, and magic. Context is entirely lacking from the film, lending to the feeling of being dropped into the middle of a particularly lore heavy fever dream.

 

Suseteer opens with an introduction to the titular protagonist, a fashion model-cum-super heroine who is promised a great misfortune. Various magical characters are soon introduced, and Suseteer finds herself in conversation with a vampire who doesn’t like the taste of blood, and a less than amicable shape-shifting witch. Needless to say, the plot of the film was difficult to keep track of, partially because most of the voice cast is limited to one or two performers who sound very similar, and who do not speak entirely clearly. It’s as if every character is voiced by Eric Cartman from South Park. The script meanders unpredictably, giving the film a nonsensical and improvisational quality. If it were played for comedy then I’m sure this loose structure could have been quite effective. Unfortunately, the absurdity just becomes exhausting, and it was a particular challenge to give the film more than five minutes of attention at a time.

 

Lending to the early YouTube quality of the film is the presentation, a blend of crude animation and live-action sequences filmed vertically on a front facing phone camera. The animation takes centre stage in the runtime of Suseteer, although calling it animation is generous. Characters on screen appear to have been drawn in MS Paint, bouncing around erratically and shifting scale intermittently. It’s undeniably amateurish, and honestly charming. The novelty soon wears off, and as the realisation sets in that this is what the film will look like for the next hour and a half, the true fear begins. There are no backgrounds in Suseteer. Characters float in front of an endless black void. Nor is there any music or sound design to speak of, no reprieve from the endless incomprehensible dialogue that drones on and on. It’s like watching a feature length sequence of the Worker and Parasite gag from The Simpsons. Stock music is free and easily available online these days, and it’s beyond me why the filmmakers did not choose to break up the unending monotony of their voices with an ambient track.

Clearly the filmmaker has a rich, vivid imagination, and Suseteer is admirable in its unique vision. One can only wonder how much fun was had in creating this film, and the pride that comes from releasing a personal project like this is unique, and it should be celebrated. However, this reviewer was not personally involved in this project, and the unfortunate burden reviewers have is a requirement to be honest. And speaking honestly, Suseteer was a chore to sit through.