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★★★
Directed by: Lee Neville
Written by: Lee Neville
Starring: #LeeNeville, #JaneHogan and #DanielleLittle
Hello...Hi, are you still there? My loyal and faithful subjects, you stuck by me as we crossed desert sands, climbed the highest mountain peaks, braved the harshest winter, fought in the battle for Middle Earth...oh wait no, we didn’t do that. It just felt that way because we sat through the many instalments that filmmaker Lee Neville had to bring us for his Three Times Moving short film saga...and now we finally have come to the conclusion. The battle is finally won, phew cos I’m well puffed out.
So as well all know by now, Neville was the king of the ladies, he had three at one point, then he had two and at the end of last week’s instalment it seemed that he was about to only have one. What will Neville do? Can he finally overcome his commitment issues? His problem with saying I wuv you? Will he finally rip the skin off his face to reveal his true form as the king of the lizard people? Read on dear readers to find out.
So for the past few weeks this film critic has agonized over the fact that I didn’t get what the point of the whole Three Times Moving saga was. I couldn’t find much of a drive behind the story other than this man likes to pork a lot of ladies but not tell them he loved them. Seems like most people I already know, so it didn’t shock me, but as the weeks went by I came to figure out that something a little more deep was at play, and despite the boredom that would wash over me in waves at points, as well as the desire to watch it without sound to not have to hear the piano score, I started to have the drive to discover why Mr Neville had decided to become such a player of the women.
Sure, we have all made our own conclusions, sex cult? Lizard folk? Mormons?, I have heard, and thought them all, but no, sadly it is none of these exciting outcomes when we watch Three Times Moving: Time Forgotten. [SPOILER ALERT] It seems that Neville has been unable to express how he feels ever since his ex-girlfriend died before he could declare his love for her...sucks for him, and her cos she like died...I bet it was the piano score that killed her.
Now to add to the spicy drama that is unfolding on our screens, it comes to light that the best friend who is in love with him is the sister of the dead ex-girlfriend! What a game changer! Well, not really, but we can’t deny any excitement in the storyline up to now is welcome, and of course this connection ties the whole collection together.
Neville has replaced the ex girlfriend with the sister, hoping he can finally express himself to her, hoping this will rid him of the guilt he is clearly suffering from, but alas things are not so simple. Neville has clearly been using this ladies as some form of therapy for his own personal struggles, each displaying to him in their own way the importance of embracing life in the moment, of understanding how fleeting these moments can be, or instead he could have gone to a grief counsellor but banging chicks all day is probably just as good, unless you get a hot counsellor in which you can kill two birds with one stone.
Honestly I’m relieved that we have a motive, I had began to worry that these short movies were going nowhere, but here, at the end of Neville’s work, we can finally put the pieces together and come to understand all that I have struggled with over the past month...oh my god, we have been at this for a month.
I am slightly saddened to think that next week I won’t be staring into the black hole that is Neville’s bedroom, while he struggles to choose between porking chick A or chick B, but at the same time I’m relieved that I won’t be staring into Neville’s black hole of a room choosing between chick A or chick B. These shorts have been a interesting ride of asking WTF, utter frustration and comical moments that I don’t think were intentional, but at the end of the day (or month in this case) Neville took on a big load of work creating these films, writing, directing, producing as well as acting in all of them, and I take my hat off to his hard work and ambition, and despite this not being to my taste I can see its appeal to a different audience.
And so here we are, at the end of this journey, we made it man, we fucking made it!!! And with it all behind us let’s look back on some of the best bits...
Wondering how Neville got all the ladies.
Pyramid schemes to entice women.
Black void bedroom.
Piano scores to kill yourself too.
And...
Lizard people.
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