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Lumberjack: The Son Says Hello!

average rating is 3 out of 5


Jason Knight


Posted on:

Jul 18, 2023

Film Reviews
Lumberjack: The Son Says Hello!
Directed by:
Samuel Carl Cohen
Written by:
Samuel Carl Cohen
Kris Salvi, Marie Kottenstette, Marc Powers

A hitman ends up becoming a family man and being unhappy about it.


Mal (Salvi) is an assassin who enjoys his line of work and lives a happy life until he meets Mary (Kottenstette), the wife of the unstable dectective (Powers) who is trying to catch him. Following a confrontation, Mary has just left her husband and she moves in with Mal and the two of them begin a relationship and she becomes pregnant. In order to support his partner and child, Mal ends up quitting his beloved job as a hitman and working as a postman. Increasingly frustrated with family life and eager to return to his former life as a hired killer, Mal comes closer and closer to mental breakdown.


This is a rather outrageous short dark comedy with eccentric characters, awkward characters and quite a few crazy (probably the most appropriate word) scenes. The main focus is the character development that Mal goes through as he gets sick and tired of being a prisoner to a life that he despises, which involves working a job that he hates and taking care of a baby that keeps crying and urinating on him. The film explores a variety of subjects, including parenthood, self-reflection and police incompetence, however the major ones appear to be free will and freedom, in regard to Mal's desire to brake free from his partner and child.


The performances are pretty much over-the-top, particularly by Salvi and Powers. Salvi's character starts of as a professional assassin, who lives alone and is content that way. Following the birth of his child, he becomes miserable and vividly shows signs of gradually going insane. Powers plays a seasoned police detective who is broken by loss and all the crime that he deals with and spends more or less the entire time talking to his partner (Dustin Teuber) about the evil in the world. Kottenstette's part is a naive and vulnerable woman, who wants a family. The acting is far from realistic, which is not a bad thing, as the performances were probably meant to be goofy.


As mentioned, several scenes are crazy. One involves a baby being shot, resulting in unconvincing gore, however the ones that stand out the most take place inside Mal's house and they involve his frustration with parenthood, with him going berserk in front of the baby. The baby is actually a doll, yet the characters treat it like an actual infant, feeding it, cuddling it etc., and watching this is awkward to say the least.


The soundtrack adds to the lunacy and includes childish songs that play during montage sequences, turning the film into a music video. The stylised credits are creative as they consist of colourful letters that resemble ones that are found in children's books.


This film is definitely not for everyone due to toilet humour and comical (yet simultaneously savage) scenes of violence against children. If one enjoys that type of humour and slapstick comedy in general, then they might enjoy this short and will probably gain more if they understand its messages. It is a comical (and rather dark) commentary on the responsibilities of parenthood and the idea of living one's life the way they want to.

About the Film Critic
Jason Knight
Jason Knight
Short Film
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