Behind The Reflection

A story of identity and sexuality opens out into one of depression and substance abuse, as a woman living in assisted accommodation tries to live out every day of her life without knowing who she really is.

Shae (Gemma) tells us right from the start that she doesn’t know who she is. She just wants to be normal, like the rest of us, and not have to deal with the rest of the bulls*** that comes with the daily existence of having to put a face on for the outside world. This mental distress has been piling on Shae since high school, and she has turned to alcohol and drugs to block out the constant thoughts that plague her every waking moment. One afternoon, a drug deal goes wrong, and Shae ends up getting stabbed in a bust up in a tunnel, seeing her spiral into a maelstrom of self-pity and soul-searching from which there may be no salvation.

Throwing a lifeline into this wild and crazy storm, however, is Amber (Stewart), the pretty blonde barmaid with a heart of gold. She sees through Shae’s charade and wants to get to know the person underneath. Now that there’s a chance of understanding and acceptance, Shae must take a look at herself and make some choices about who she wants to be in the future.

Based on the life of Rozelle Gemma, who stars as Shae, Behind The Reflection tries to get as close as possible to the truth of the situation in telling her story. With Gemma on board as co-writer and star, there’s a rawness and power that comes from the performance that completely pulls you into the life that she has lived. Playing two characters convincingly on screen is more than enough for most actors, but when you realise that the real performance was all the time, every day, for years, it adds an extra level to what we get to see on screen.

The production, too, keeps things concrete and real and close to the streets, and not just for budgetary reasons either. It’s obvious that the filmmakers grew up around, and have an understanding of, the places where the film is set. The interiors are grimy, and bare, and real, and really help lend Shae’s story another layer of authenticity, as we experience the pressures of life on welfare, in places and around people that are there to grind you down.

The soundtrack to these desolate spaces is very well chosen to reflect the atmosphere and the feeling of Shae’s experience within them, and with Velton J Lishke’s direction, the whole of Shae’s world is pulled together into frame in a visually seamless narrative. The lighting and the camerawork, however, along with a lot of the sound, are what show up the budgetary restrictions the most, and while capturing these elements naturally can sometimes add to authenticity, here we’re just left wanting more than tinny toilet conversations and sitting under downlights.

For what is a very cheap indie movie, crowdfunded, and built almost as a community project, Behind The Reflection has the benefit of having a f***load of heart and integrity behind it. Rozelle Gemma is a force of nature, who has an important story to tell, and who is able to tell it with all the passion, and desperation, and heartache that she experienced first-hand as she just tried to live her life. For the twenty-four minutes we are invited to share in Shae’s life, we see and hear and feel a lot with her, some of it uncomfortably, but in the sharing of the story we are lifted, almost as a form of therapy, as we benefit from her journey. For anyone suffering alone, looking Behind The Reflection, could be just the perspective they need, to think a little differently from now on.