I was raised by 2 things...wolves and T.V, a childhood immersed in the wonderful world of movies and Saturday morning cartoons bred the budding film critic inside me. My film knowledge spilt out over the seams causing messy stains whenever I went to the cinema, it’s a knowledge that bores people during social occasions when they talk about how the Godfather was an amazing piece of cinema...no it wasn’t, and here is a list of reasons why you fool.
What was I to do, where was I to go, how could I annoy people with my bad jokes and unnecessary film trivia without losing all my friends?... Eureka! I could become Roger Ebert! Well no I can’t because I’m not a man, nor do I really look good in glasses, so I went for the next best thing, annoying the lovely readers of UK Film Review.
So here I am, spreading the love that none of you asked for, filling the minds of innocent people with all the movie facts and comedy gold that I can muster...bon appetit.
Oh yeah films I like...stabby ones, you know where sexy ladies with massive boobs get stabbed loads in the face, they give me warm feelings inside, and of course the following: Brick, Manic, What Richard Did, Inside, Halloween, Friday 13th Part 2 [cos the others are lame], Hush, Cell 22, Wonderboys, Fire walk with me and XXX Pirates, which was the most expensive porno ever made and as you can imagine has some absolutely amazing acting in it, if you have not seen it then what have you been doing all your life?...sheer acting gold.